Free of charge, we offer tales of odd news, strange crimes, dumb criminals and otherwise silly stories from the Chicago suburbs.
PB&J blamed for one-car crash
PARK RIDGE, April 7 — A man was so engrossed in eating his peanut butter and jelly sandwich that he drove his car into a utility pole, Park Ridge police say. The 25-year-old Arlington Heights man was driving on Northwest Highway just before 2 p.m., April 7, when his 2011 Ford E350 van drove off the road and struck a ComEd utility pole, a police report indicated.
The man reportedly told police that he was eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich while driving and when he hit a bump in the road and lost control of both the steering wheel and his sandwich, eventually crashing into the pole. The accident report noted that when an officer arrived on the scene, the driver’s face “was covered with peanut butter.”
No injuries were reported, though the driver was ticketed for driving too fast for conditions and reckless driving, police said.
Author calls cops over ugly emails
WILMETTE, April 4 — There’s usually a fairly straightforward line between literary criticism and threat-filled disorderly conduct; this month Wilmette police learned that one anonymous critic apparently either didn’t know that, or didn’t care.
A Wilmette author, who has published children’s books and history books, called police to her home April 4 after receiving four profanity-laced and threatening emails about one of her books, a 2009 biography of President Barack Obama. The email addresses themselves were violent – suggesting that the sender was a “proud rapist” – or directly obscene.
The brief messages called the author “a deceiving propagandist,” used sexual slurs to address her and then told her to burn her books. The woman, who told police she had never received such emails before, and wasn’t aware of anyone who might be sending them, said she decided to contact the department because one of the emails admonished her to “Die.”
Police chief saves one-eyed cat
CLARENDON HILLS, March 31 — A one-eyed cat that was stuck on the roof of a house on the first block of North Prospect Avenue was rescued by Police Chief Ted Jenkins at 10:27 a.m. March 31 and returned to its owner on the same block.
HINSDALE, March 27 — An unknown person entered the men’s washroom at Burns Field on the 300 block of North Vine sometime between 8 p.m. March 27 and 9:30 a.m. March 28, damaging a urinal and a soap dispenser.
Late to your own funeral?
LA GRANGE, April 4 — A speeding hearse was reported at 10:49 p.m. April 4 headed south on Kensington or possibly Spring Avenue from Burlington Avenue. Police weren’t able to locate the vehicle.
LA GRANGE, April 2 — K-cup servings of coffee were reported stolen at 11:03 a.m. April 2 from the La Grange Public Library, 10 W. Cossitt Ave. A 43-year-old La Grange woman was questioned for the theft, but said she hasn’t been to the library’s coffee service area in the past two weeks. She wasn’t charged.
LA GRANGE, April 5 — A black pellet handgun was confiscated at 6:37 p.m. April 5, following a complaint that four men were posing for cellphone pictures with the gun on the side of a home on the 100 block of Washington Avenue. The men told police the gun belongs to a man not at the scene. No one was cited in the incident.