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Paul Sassone: New state laws hard to understand

<p>Paul Sassone</p>

Paul Sassone

45,872 and counting. That is the number of things I don’t understand.

Tanning is one of them.

I don’t understand why people do it. Cultivate a tan that is. You are what you are and you ain’t what you ain’t, as John Prine sings.

And it must not be too healthy getting yourself tanned all the time. Because a new Illinois law went into effect Jan. 1 forbidding those under 18 from using tanning parlors, even if they have permission from their parents.

What I wonder is: Do teenagers have a different molecular structure than the rest of us?

If not, and we’re all molecularly equal, then wouldn’t tanning be harmful for people over the age of 18, too?

Oh well, I guess the Illinois legislature thinks we adults can take care of ourselves.

I hope that assumption is true now that it is legal to tote iron in Illinois.

You know, tote iron.

Pack a roscoe.

A piece.

Carry a gun.

It’s hard for me to understand (45,873).

Not so many years ago, it seemed remote and far-fetched that just about anyone could go about the streets carrying a concealed gun. Guns seemed to be on their way out. Back then we were all laughing at Archie Bunker’s solution to airline highjacking — arm all the passengers.

That idea wouldn’t draw a smile today, probably is NRA policy and would be supported by many politicians.

I understand that carrying a gun will not be permitted in some places, such as schools (though the NRA thinks arming school personnel is a good idea). And merchants can put up signs telling customers they can’t bring a gun onto the premises.

But what about us non-pistol-packers?

Can I wear a sign stating: “I am unarmed. Please don’t shoot me”?

Or, do I want to go the other way, try to bluff with a sign that states: “Armed and dangerous. Don’t even try it”?

I don’t understand (45,874).

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